Limbo Daze

Well I'm back on the blog. lol with nothing to write...seriously, lately I feel like I'm slowly losing my vocabulary and ability to synthesize my thoughts into coherent sentences! I don't know what it is exactly. When I open my mouth, I feel like I should be wearing a dunce cap. Altogether, I feel like my mind is just floating along la-di-da. It's weird especially for a person such as myself who constantly assesses and analyzes the people and things around me. I think some of my friends are beginning to catch on to my lack of contribution to meaningful, intellectually stimulating conversations. One friend decided that his video game was more important than talking to me and my other friend, my debate buddy, has grown aloof and brushes me off for other friends. I'm pretty empathic about it all because there is nothing more annoying than to have a conversation with someone who has nothing meaningful to say. I wish I were able to partake in such dialogue but I am frightened for what may escape these lips. I am even more fearful of sounding foolish. Hm, before I would say anything with passion and debate my point to the nail but after reading several blogs and posts on facebook that sound so... smart and the fact that people drool over what these bloggers and posters write simply amazes me. I've always been one to express myself no matter what but all of a sudden I've grown so self-conscious about my thoughts and lack of knowledge in certain subjects. Secretly, I want to be a know-it -all like the posters and bloggers who express their thoughts so intelligently and eloquently. Aside from this "drama" that I believe I am creating for myself, my life has been fairly bland and bumpy. I'm looking forward to graduation, not looking forward to filling out more applications for fellowships/jobs, I'm still single, and I've cut the split ends from my life (i.e. deleting phone #s and cleaning up my friends list on facebook ). My life has been pretty bumpy because APPARENTLY makeup foundation can expire and it can actually wreak havoc on one’s face as it did on mine. Lesson learned no more heavy makeup for me! I know, I know my life is nothing to talk about right now lol...Well, now I will go back to listening to NPR as I sip my tea and continue my interview question exercises. Good night. :-)